Regrets.

Hye Everyone,

Its been awhile since I blogged! Haiz...
I really feel so down... I hate it when People that we care have to leave and we will never know when they are coming back, Will we ever see them again?
I hate my assumptions! Everytime I care of someone, It sooner or later will hurt me back! I feel so alone sometimes...

I was looking at all my videos from the past and I have realize That I have failed to keep something so dearly to me! But at that moment of time, I didn't feel it but now, I was just an idiot for not giving it a try! I am a coward guy! I missed that moments we had, I miss your smile, scream, your eyes , your look,your sweet heart, your kind heart, and things tat make me see you as a PERFECT mate for me... But I was STUPID then, I was so blind to not see what I see now! You were never fake to me. YOU ARE REAL! I wish I could go back to time and tell you how I really feel!

People say: You will never miss the person, until that person leaves you. So TRUE!

We can never change the PAST but I am gonna make YOU my FUTURE!

Nigel ! Tats ME!

Hey~

Its been a long time since I have blog... Its 11pm...
I was watching some movies home since I cant go no where...
"Holding the hands of the ONE you LOVE"

I keep thinking who is that girl that I am gonna hold her hand the rest of our LIFE...Going to obstacles together, never letting her go... I have someone on my mind... But then, Dear Blog... I dun think I am her type... I am just sad... Why does no one wanna give me a little chance by knowing me....? Am I tat bad looking? Is there anything wrong with me? If there is, I wish they told me... Bt now, waiting for someone and yet I know she wouldn't come... Why is the feeling of care for the person you LOVE & ADORE but never get back the love you wanted! Truth is, I have never ever hold anyone's hand but my moms...My mom hold my hand to go through Life and I know she would be there.... Now, I wanna hold that Girl's hand and let her know, I will be there no matter what / where / when just to show her how I care bring her Love~

There is not a day that I dun think of you!
IMY

Nmn~ "The Truth"

LOVE is like LIFE

I am so bless to have a 2nd chance!
A chance to live LIFE....
A chance to SHARE my story...and announced to the world I LIVE to meet another beautiful Sunlight
or A BRIGHT Light showing the way~ Moonlight~
A chance to say THANK YOU for making me Live for another day of Joy, Sadness, Dissappointment, Jealousy, Achievement, Happy, Sadness ,Rejected , To be LOVE and etc .... I mean is that a chance to FEEL again!
Tears is to express you feelings...to pour out!! You feel like CRYING? dun be shy~ Let it all out!! In life we gotta Tear it all out! Its our life~
Dun be afraid to ask~
There is things you can do, but there also things in life you can't do...*but there is some1 out there that may help you!*
I have friends where they say,they are stupid,Ugly,Fat *mostly*,PIMPLES!! ,Do I look good in these dress? and etc
Well,if you dun believe yourself,how can others believe you...You may hear this a thousand times but do you

ever take in consideration and think about it?
Live life to the fullest!! Love as you have never been loved before~ XD

You know how when you were a little kid, and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them. But, eventually, you grow up. One day, you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has the smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day, they will open their eyes and it will come true.

BE YOURSELF!!
Haha....Laugh ALL YOU want!!! BE Crazy all you want!!

~NMN~





 I won’t force myself to have a space in your life, because if you know my worth, you’ll create one for me. 

A start of something new~

Hey Blogger readers!!

How are you guys out there!

I was watching "PARENTHOOD" Loving it

Its show how every parent changed when they set their eyes on their First born & also the challenges they face...All parents goes through this~ 

Biggest Loser

Explains how to loose you weight *if your are over weight*

Ever wonder why they never had a "TEENAGE HOOD" movie or a series?

Lol...well, My point of view,Teenage is a hard Subject to study~

All teenage has their different issues~

Haha.....

I have now come to realize that Life is full of chances,rejections,Love,Sharing....

Hey YOU!! Yea YOU!

Did you face a problems,tough times, difficulties *that make you wanna say "Die man!" "I cant do it"*

Yesterday?? 2 Days Ago?? In the past?

Well I did! It was during my death of my Little brother "Sean Michael Nonis"

There was a point I tried killing myself~ I was only 5 that time and I wanted to jump from a building

Some1 STOPPED me,

If it was not that some1, I wouldn't be here to blogged this~

TG I came back to Malacca, and Start a whole new life of NIgel Michael Nonis with my brother bside me spiritually~

He is My BROTHER, 

My BEST FRIEND

Living in Malacca for 17 years!

With my amazing Aunt,Cousins,Uncles & also my friends

What will I be without you guys?!

The jokes , happiness , grumbling , scolding , shouting was my survival~ 

Love found me & was shared with me....

Now, I wanna share My Love to that Special 1,You are my Sunshine~

Haha....

Didnt know Love,but then Love was Shared and Given....Now Its my turn to Show What I know about Love~

You may ask what I love about you,

Maybe something that you dun see but it is I who see in YOu~

That makes you way different than all the people on this earth~

I love life to the fullest~

All I wanna do is now is Living Life with You....

Never compare your love story with those in the movies, because they are written by scriptwriters. Yours is written by God.

Sometimes, our lives can change so fast that the change outpaces our mind and hearts. It’s those times, I think, when our lives have altered but still long for the time before everything was altered-this is when we feel the greatest pain. I can tell you, though, from experience, you grow accustomed to it. You learn to live your new life, and you can’t imagine, or even really remember how things were before.

This Is all I can say~ Loving the moment right after you text me back!!!

See You Later Alligator!

~NMN~

Do things what you wanted to do~~ if you have the chace!!! grab it!

Take pictures of yourself if you want to~

You snap me to your heart!! Love you~

Hospitalized~

Just came back from the hospital,

I was in a motor-lorry hit & run accident~

the night I got into an accident,(I was actually from San Pedro)...

Got HIGH with my friends and I head to my office just to get some good rest!

But so happens I over slept~

So as I was heading home with my bike, I slept while RIDING!!

Craziee!! Well, Lifes like that...We learn our mistakes!

Was in the hospital from the 30th till today!

Call me weird, but I love being in the hospital~ I had my friends visit me~

Rocky With Raisins!
(loving both!)

Some of them came to share their jokes,brought food,just to DATE with their GF/BF *Was I still in the picture*

*did you come to see me?? or you just wanna date her*

*PDA (a new word I learned from Nisse)* & also Feathers from  Nisse,Aaron & Khay Tong & Marilyn & Alvin Lee & others~
I am so happy to have them  as my friends!
I also met GAVIN YEO (it was like after 1 year and a half did not see him!!)

I wasn't bored and my head wasn't at WORKING MODE

I miss having my friends around me!

My friend Nisse personifies the word FRIEND. She is a ton of fun, supportive, positive, enthusiastic, and just a wonderful person. 

I'd like to say THANK YOU to her for always being there for me. Whether we live a short car ride or a long plane ride apart, I know I am lucky to have her just a phonecall away. I don't know what I'd do without you Nisse! Your hilarious stories, your infectious laugh, and your smile I can see right through the phone-- thank you for being you!

And Not forgetting Aaron's laugh~

Thank you for sending me the things
to make me think, laugh, or smile.
For when I am down
it makes the hurt go away
if only for a while.

That is why friends are so dear,
just because they love you.
And you always know they're there
to lend a listening ear
and to take away the blues.

It is also why I thank my God
for the friends he sends my way
For He knows we all need some cheer
and the support each and every day.

So to my wonderful friends
I send a rose to you.
Because I know that you all
are my friends through and true.

In each of us is a special gift
for if we love one another
It can surpass so much pain and fear
And give help and love to others.

Ps: Thanks for everything! Just so you know Girl,you are the First person to make me feel such a feeling...*i cant even explained,even if you ask*
1 thing I can tell you is I LOVE YOU and I can tell you WHY...because its TRUE~ You make me go crazy inside~ Missing you so dearly!!

Its Father's Day...

Every DAY has its STORY,
But THIS day, has a DIFFERENT STORY than the other people out there!
Every year passed, this Day keeps me thinking, is HE still ALIVE??
I never knew my DAD at all~ I was born without a DAD~
Does HE even know I exist?
My LIFE is so HORRIBLE *at that moment*,
My life, My AUNTY, UNCLE, MOM is my HERO, is My TEACHER....& is My FRIEND
I always wonder what was it like GROWING having a father??
Is He COOL? MACHO? STRICT?
I was so jealous with my friends...
As time PASSED ~
I left my PASS aside....but I cant~
EVERY YEAR got FATHER"S DAY MAH!!
Well, Living with my UNCLE & AUNTY now.... NOW, LIfe is just a normal ROUTINE!
Already 17 years now, celebrating with MY UNCLE,
If it wasn't HIM to accept me to be appart of his family, I will be on the roadside @ Bukit Bintang....
Well..
Thats my life, I don't wanna have secrets with you~

HAPPY FATHER"S DAY TO ALL THE FATHER"S!!

~NMN~
*I always wonder,why do I keep LOOSING my loved ones~ is HE testing ME?
*Does HE has a PLAN for ME?
*I AM SO AFRAID of LOSING MYSELF for HIM
* I am so afraid that I cant HOLD ON!!

ME?? You??HEHE

You and me 
Were meant to be;
In my dreams, and in my heart
We have something that can't be torn apart;
Dreaming of you, makes my night worth while
Thinking of you, makes me constantly smile;
Something tells me that your the one
Whenever I'm with you, we have so much fun;
Having you is the best thing ever
Having you is what i want forever;
Til the end of time
You will be mine;
I love you baby, your one of a kind
Because your always on my mind.


~nmn~
Never ever giving up~

Amazing~

You’re really amazing, and one day, maybe very soon, you will find someone who really means the world to you and you will fall in love with them, and he will love you to bits. He won’t find anyone else like you if he could search the world forever and ever. You will find someone who won’t want to leave your side. He might not be in your life yet: he might have walked past you today, he might have walked outside your house a few hours ago, but one day, he’ll be yours and only yours forever and ever. 

40 lessons of life~

I got it from the net~ (28 April 2009, Tuesday , 8.29pm)


1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt,  just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every  month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing  than crying alone..

8. It’s OK to get angry with God.  He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with  your first paycheck..

10. When it comes to chocolate,  resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your  life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all  about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you  shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the  blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never  blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what  you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21.  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the  brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is  none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is,  not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35.  Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it  now..

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours  back.


Now, my fingers is so pain!!! Walao~ 
I had horrible hand writings~

A Guy In Confusion~

Help to figure out how to help this guy,

Background for this guy I only can tell you a little~
*He had a most ADORABLE brother, but lost HIM when he was a young boy*
*He still has his RHINO toy from the age of 2 years old*
*He is a very WEIRD guy~*
*Loves his FAMILY & FRIENDS*
*LOVED School, but HATED some of the TEACHERS*
*Growing up in 4 places, (Kuala Lumpur, Johore,Singapore & Malacca)
*Started schooling @ the age of 8 (std 2)

His current situation:
He has known this girl for 5 months,keep thinking & talking about her (sometimes la)
This guy wanna tell her how he feels for her is so afraid...
Afraid? afraid of being rejected~
(hint: If you don't tell that special some1 what he/she means to you, Well that HE/SHE WONT KNOW!!, Being rejected is also another issue,but don't you see!! atleast now, she knows)
(hint for the above hint: Most girls knows that you have feelings for her
Exp: GUYS will go the extra mile for the GIRLS which is so obvious...When a GUY is around a GIRL he likes ,   he will be so careless *naturally* LOLX))

He likes about with this girl is the smile,the eyes,spontaneous *she is a friend that is not to loose*
This guy cant last a day without not hearing from her~
How can this guy go to her and tell her??
*he has Alzheimer's! Lol
He is willing to spend more time with her rather than telling her~
WOW~ He is so lost~

Here goes, Just take the chance~ =)
Sometimes, we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel, and sometimes, we just have to go with “whatever happens, happens.”


~NMN~ 
Love is ~~~

A special day for the 2 woman in my LifE

Hello hello~ 
I am back to blogspot once again~
Got up in the morning @ 5.30am,Did my laundry & watered my garden~
*but soon realizes its only SATURDAY!*


~but now its already Mother's Day~


I am so grateful to have this 2 people in my life, My MOM & AUNT
My mother is the most important person in my life. I have been mentioning her in almost all of the essays I write. The problem is, I cannot really express how I feel about her in just words. My mother is not my whole life, but she is a really big part of it.For now, My mom is not with me, she is in Australia. *WHISPER: Where I so know that she is so worried  about me although when she deny...* WHICH MOTHER NEVER WORRIES?*


Mommy, please don't worry 'cause
I'm doing really well,
Even though I miss you on
This Happy Mother's Day!

Wishing you were with me 'cause
In that case I could tell
You all the things that happened to me
While you were away.

I love you even though you can't
Be with me just for now.
And I know you love me, too,
'Cause I'm your little child.

And I'm sure that you will come
To me someday, somehow,
And I will see you look at me
And know that you have smiled.

I am living with my Aunt, I have known her for thirteen years, three months, 9 days and nineteen hours....
I still remember the havoc I cause (TILL NOW) LOLX

*The moment a child is born,the mother is also born.She never existed before.The woman existed but the mother never .A mother is something absolutely new !!!*




~NMN~


I Love your smile~

Japan oh Japan~

Thousands of life just been swept away....Sob~
Some of us are busy or maybe enjoying life & yet at the same time a tsunami is occurring...
And all that happen its just because the earth shook The world became dark and the sea water overflow The sea swallow up the mainland The people cried out in fear and seek refuge but yet some of us are @ home relaxing~
Imagine the families that lost their love ones & shelter~....


Without a noise, a warning,
or clarion call
the sudden gulf of the impossible
striking from so far below

to stand, those who remained,
and see the remnants
of life, and death, strewn
powerless against such force:
nature's disquieting call to arms.

Surrendering, after first strike,
we begin to rebuild an existence.

Time withered in the sand
As illusions grew across the land
Many people came to see
What it was that just could not be

The ocean rose as high as trees
With people needing help from you and me
Sending money wasn't enough
As hope and prayers were needed more

All religions and nations
Came together in their aid
The people still have hope
To continue their lives once again

To feel the wrath of such tragedy
We can only imagine how it must be
But one world away, one can not forget
The strength of a Tsunami

Imagine when its over,

When all was calm
Shrill wail children call her parents
Shrill parents call of God
Meet melancholy in the rubble that still left
Not many left
House have been flattened
Where are the corpses
Swallowing saliva, holding hunger and thirst
One by one to meet her family
The injured or have died
Blessings can still gather
Although not have property again

Close our eyes for a moment,

Reflect~~

Pls Lord, i pray for those who need you the most right now. I pray for all the tsunami victims, that they may be protected by your greatness. Help those who are struggling with the Tsunami and those who lost they beloved. Amen.

Appreciate life while you have it~

Love it~

~nmn~

A ~ Z of me

A - Animal lover but not an insect lover though
B - loves Bowling,Badminton & Blogging.....duh~
C - loves CHEESE not so much~
D - a Drummer
E - i am Exquisite & Emo at times~
F - making Fun of people!
G - a bad Gamer and a bad Gambler
H - Horse - riding *love it*
I - Ice cream
J - Jungle trekking *need frenz to go with*
K - Kaching!
L - wants to be Loved
M - My Mom & Music
N - Nigel which is me! Naughty but lovable
O - Open minder,likes Oranges
P - loves writing Poems
Q - not a Quiet guy I am....
R - wants to REST
S - Supercalifragilistic ,Superannoying
T - Twisted my hand
U - United with each other
V - VVVVVV
W - alot of WATER
X - xenodocheionology * loves hotel *
Y - its You i want~
Z - Zoologist *when I was 8 years old,it was my dream*

Smile~

Well a day with you isn't enough....
Knowing you bit by bit but falling for you more every time I see you....
Lol~
You are crazy,fun, and things I cant even describe~ LOL 




I could look at your face forever
I could hold your hand for all time.
If I could have one granted wish,
it would be that you are mine.

I dream about you all the time
and they way you look at me.
I love hearing you smile
I love you so much, can't you see?

I could look at your face forever
I could hold you in my heart for all time.
So there's only one question left for you to answer,
will you please be mine?



 :-)


~Nigelicious Michael Nonis~


*I am falling for you more and more while I am trying to know you more~
I am so crazy for you~


~PLOOP~

A great fall~

I came in @ 5.30am.....
Started my day with a cup of MILO~
When to my office,did my daily job....
Got shouted at for no freaking reason.....was so confused?
*i know u stress but why throw over me??
Haiz......
Met my client,then while walking up I got a call from that man,
Kena shouted again~
Shouted back!
Kena warned!!!
So I walked away while he was talking,PISSED
My function was to start but there was a PROB,
I called the 1 in charge but then he raise his voice to me,so,
I shouted at him and he cried....
*my bad~~
But I was so pissed and wasnt thinking~~
I fell down the stairs~~~
KAKAKA
sprain my hand~
*why didnt I just die*
AHHHHHHH......
Typing this freaking post also so hard.....i only have 1 hand!!!
haiz~~~

Time....Its all I have~

Hey~
I dunno How this is but How is this??


I lay adrift on a wooden raft. Surrounded by the still, black sky of 
my mind. Floating on the dark, dimpled water of time. There your face 
twinkles above me. You shine. Stars so seemingly close, but 
unreachable. The light glowing on my outstretched hands. Clawing at 
the sky, but unable to grasp the source. 

My heart ticks in time to the groan of the planks. It is a clock. 
Counting not the day, but the moments since last we touched. Passion 
in fingertips the world has not yet rendered. Promises unspoken by 
lips that plead for fulfillment. 

Tick Tock. I drift farther from your touch. 
Tick Tock. Two more moments alone without you. 

My heart is a clock. It's muscle and nerves the gears and pins. A 
machine. A tool. But a clock is meaningless without time. Without 
time, a clock would simply count. Valueless decimals discarded and 
alone. My heart is a clock and you are its time. Giving purpose to a 
machine empty without you. Your sweet song, the harmony to my meter. 
Breathing life into the inanimate. 

Tick Tock. My heart waits for you. 

I lay adrift on the water of time, waiting for the currents to bring 
me back to you. 



~N~M~N~


ps: I will never give up on you~

What a day!!

"Nigel, She literally hates you!!" "Get away from her"
 I was told yesterday by a friend~
hmmm~
Well,just so you know
I dunno what she meant until now....kakaka
but personally I so wanted to slap her face or was it a punch??
but it didn't happened....
What are you interfering in my life?
Jealousy?
Really~~~?
Come on!!!
There is nothing between us....

I hate people~ such as YOU~

Life with Friends~

Last night, I was talking to a friend for 3 and a half hours (thats the good thing of house phone!! no credit waste!! )
He really BACK - ED me up siot!!
But after the so called long conversation we had,He send me a message~




"I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care"


What are best friends for!
All in the above explains it all~


According to someone, GOD does not do mistakes! *which is true!*
*everything GOD does,there is always a reason*


there is three "SPECIAL" moments in LIFE....
- Being brought to the world~
- knowing the purposed you live for...
- Achieving IT!
Haha....
Life is just so unpredictable~
God knows what I was gonna faced today even before I was born!
There is a reason of me still living~
but I still dunno,
I hope GOD will someday show me....But now all I have to do is WAIT!!
I love you~
I miss you~
I thank you!


Well,
Life goes on~
Always moving forward~
"AGE QUOD AGIS"
LOVING THE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IN LIFE~~
APPRECIATING EVERY SINGLE FRIENDS I HAVE~~ 
ENJOYING EVERY RAINDROP IN THE SKY~~


HEY YOU!!!
If you love dancing in the rain but being scared of getting sick.....dun worry~~
ENJOY THE RAIN,LIKE I DO!
ENJOY LIFE!!!
DUN JUST DREAM, GO FOR IT!!
I LOVE MUSIC!! *it keeps me peaceful!*
















I LOVE HER *She makes me go crazy*


HUG EVERYONE YOU LOVE!!!




LOVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!!


~NIGEL TAN MICHAEL NONIS~
*thanks to all~

Time spend with you~

Hey,
It was the great 12 years being with you!!
When you were young,you were so cute!!! *which you still do*
I love you so much lil bro~
You never disobeyed your mom~
You never shouted....
You will do anything as what we ask....
There were no excuses from you!!!
Bro, I wanna be you!!
Thanks for making my day, when I was down!~
You love getting tickled from me don't you??
The amount of videos that we have planed to do and that we have done!!
Kaka...
Funny right, lil bro??
Last year I started to bite you~
haiz~
Till we meet!!


~nigel~
I miss You

Tears~

My eyes filled up with tears as I heard the news
It never occurred to me, how much I could lose
I find myself wishing that it wasn't real
Every time I think about it, pain is all I can feel
Tears fall from my eyes, I can barely see
But my heart tells me that he'll always be with me
I’m glad he feels no pain now-he lives in a perfect land
I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand
I lie in bed and cry at night
And I don’t feel any better in the morning light
And I will love and miss him forever
Until the day we are again together.
Together in that perfect place above,
Filled with caring, sharing and love
But until that day comes- I will wipe my tears away.
And hopefully see him again someday


~ Nigel ~